Sunday, February 20, 2011

New Year... In A Nutshell

Okay, my last post was right after I ended my last round of HCG! I was lower than I had been in almost a decade, I bought all new clothes, I chucked last years swimsuit along with 3 full garbage sacks of clothes, and was feeling great!

I wanted to start building muscle, since I felt like I had none, and need some anyway...
then there was Thanksgiving...
and then Christmas...
can you say FUDGE, CRAMEL, and TOFFEE oh my!
I cooked, I baked, and yes I ATE!

Then my girlfriend and sweetheart both started rounds of HCG and I went nuts and started with them to (even though I was NOT suppose to until February) but I was so excited to get back on, gain back control, and lose any I had gained during the holidays, BUT IT WAS TOO SOON, and I was not seeing the results, so I stopped, not wanting to do more damage than good. Ugh.

On top of that I started homeschooling our oldest, which meant we had to do all school work for the first 1/2 of the school year by the end of January... which was insane! We did it, but I found that once again, old habits die hard! I was munching though out the day because of nerves wanting to "do it right", I also was eating like crap, not taking time to prepare healthy meals, AND I put myself on the back burner by not getting dressed/doing hair & makeup (which makes me feel better, and I know this) I was running around in sweats with my hair in a knot on the top of my head! PLUS, I was potty training the 3 year old which in its self is like 2 full time jobs, that thankfully are done! Double Ugh!!

Okay, so here it is, 2011, a new year, school is all caught up, and life will NEVER be easier than it is today! I've been talking a lot with Miss J, who I really relate a lot too, and am inspired by, who gave me this site and I am hooked!

Scared to death is more like it, what if I fail, what if I'm weak, what if I can't do it? I hate this part of me, and I have "what if'ed" it to death all week long, and tonight is my last night to worry! Starting tomorrow I am starting the program, my exercise clothes are washed and layed out all ready, and I have downloaded the podcasts onto my iPod for a no-brainer workout that will tell me when to walk & run! I will do this, I have always wanted to and allow everything else get in the way! I can do this, and want to feel what everyone else in enjoying so much when they talk of running while I shamefully hang my head and hope the conversation doesn't turn towards me. PLUS, here in town on October 21st there is a relay run, it's a 12 person team and goes for 187 miles called the Ragnar that I would love to do this year, if anyone wants to join in LET ME KNOW and check it out

So, there it is, no going back now :)