Saturday, January 30, 2010

So, this is me...

When answering questions at a doctors office when they ask "Name?" I always reply "Sara, plain and tall".

I'm in my early thirties, married for a decade or so, a busy mother of two wonderful boys (ages 6 and 2), menopausal, overweight, tired, have been depressed, to the point I have not acted like me at all sometimes.

I think of myself as a very typical wife and mother. I cook, I clean, I have totally and completely lost the ME that I use to be. As I first realized this I was saddened and disappointed in those around me for not caring about my likes enough to be a part of them, and angry with myself for completely letting go.

I wanted to change it, tears fell, my heart ached realizing more and more what I have become, why, and how many things it has both affected and also created missed opportunities. But wanting it was not, and IS NOT ENOUGH.

A great opportunity has presented itself: we just moved back to Las Vegas from the cold land of Idaho. I have been thinking about meals, exercise, lifestyle, and passions for a good year now.

This week I began the change.

I was excited to be to play outdoors more with my children and to be in an area where so much is available! So, I took the first step in my plan...

Every Day
Get outside and actively play with my beautiful boys! We have been going to parks, riding our bikes, and swimming like crazy! The boys are thrilled with the interaction and opportunity to yell and get wiggles out, and I am in the fresh air with them! Not just sitting on a bench watching them play, I am climbing the jungle gyms, chasing them around the parks, and sliding down slides...all of which is very exhausting physically, but dang it, I started!

I thought that was a great start until I was talking with a high school girlfriend on Facebook, and she challenged me to start running and even to train for the half marathon that would be at the end of this year! Hilarious, I thought, but it would not leave my mind that night. So I looked up the Jeff Galloway website where he lists a training schedule for a full and half marathon, and thank goodness a conditioning schedule for those like me who are way out of shape! Monday morning I woke up at 6:00 am and started, and I hurt. But I continued all week long and am so proud of myself, even as my ankles are aching, and where my glutes should be, it throbs!

Tonight was the clincher in my motivation world. We were invited to our good friends for dinner, who are the ultimate in beautiful couples! Four kids later she has the body of a swimsuit model and the kindest heart! I started to get ready and it didn't take long before I got upset as I tried on every piece of ugly clothing I have, desperately trying to put something together. In the process my little sister called and talked me through throwing an outfit on and getting OUT the door!

The night was great. We talked, ate, the kids played, and then we started talking about food and her 4 year old daughter came up to me, innocently patted my lower doughnut of a stomach, and asked "Is there a baby in there?" After the week I've had this was the icing on the cake! My dear friend was embarrassed and mortified and apologized over and over. But her daughter was not out of line, probably excited about a new baby, curious as all kids are, and honest as we all should be!

Talk about motivation...I'M THERE!!

I started this blog for the sole purpose of journaling my progression with thoughts, feelings and speedbumps I may have. I think about my sister, mother, aunts, friends, nieces or any other female on the planet, and if any of them find themselves in my same circumstance, I want them to know there is a way to change it! (See Roosevelt footer.) I want to set a good example for them to want to be like. I want to have great health until my last day, and it is all going to take effort.

I looked up RENEW and saw this:
begin again, brace, breathe new life into, bring up to date, continue, exhilarate, extend, fix up, freshen, gentrify, go over, mend, modernize, overhaul, prolong, reaffirm, reawaken, recommence, recondition, recreate, reestablish, refit, refresh, regenerate, rehabilitate, reinvigorate, rejuvenate, remodel, renovate, reopen, repair, repeat, replace, replenish, restate, restock, restore, resume, resuscitate, retread, revitalize, revive, spruce, stimulate, transform

It's never too why not take the time to freshen myself!